ethiopianknights

Remembering life

2011-10-06T00:14:00.000-04:00

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life," he told graduates. "Because almost everything -- all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."This quote from Steve Jobs who died today age 56. A sad day for sure.

This photo taken by my darling daughter, maybe by the ocean? Reminds me of that dear soul, soaring free. Why is this so gripping, so touching? I had never really heard of this person and will not miss him. I have barely even heard of his list of accomplishments, I am afraid of Mac computers. He must have been such an incredible geek, to have invented all those things as a young man, such a workaholic. Yet, it is stressed that he was a family man. A father of four! Wow that hits me right in the heart. Besides that, it is the tenuous nature of life that is the real tear jerker here. Somebody famous has died, yes, but more importantly to me there are friends and family suffering privately. They likely do not want their photo plastered on CNN or even their name mentioned on my blog. So I will mention them in my prayers, and wish for the answers to problems that are tearing people apart. Life is fragile, that is all I can say. Unless of course I was more eloquent like other awesome bloggers- Sharla, Ruth, Lucy...perhaps I will sneak over and see that they have to say, today.

2011-10-04T00:55:00.000-04:00

souvenirs wanted: does anybody have any cool ethiopian stuff that you are not fully appreciating? even if i am the one who gave it to you, don't worry i can put it to good use. i am preparing for an african sale and need some bracelets, tshirts, headbands, carvings, etc.

hanging out,drinking, having a good time

2011-09-16T00:28:00.008-04:00

Nothin like a comment to keep me goin...here I am trying to remember some of the good times of summer. Yes, warm and sunny summer that seemingly ended only yesterday. Today it was so cool after school I found more than one child cozied under a blanket. It ended yesterday for me when I discovered that an adoption friend (read: someone I have heard of thru ETH adoption, something like a facebook friend only more real and even more precious) has died of cancer. A lovely woman who only met her son earlier this year. It makes me sad enough to cry. Or stop blogging altogether. So taking this opportunity to throw out there, a difficult question. What on earth is wrong with this world???

first day of school

2011-09-15T11:58:00.005-04:00

Back to the books. Back to the blog. That is what they all say. From time to time I read great writings like my friend Ruth, the rambler, or others like Ranavan, Keltie and those even farther afield than western Canada... and I get inspired. To inspire you. again.

new posts as promised...

2011-07-27T09:36:00.002-04:00

These few photos represent a week of fun with my sister and nephew...so nice to have the guests who are willing to make that HUGE effort and fly across the country!

new posts coming up

2011-06-13T23:13:00.002-04:00

I feel the winds of some blog traffic around these parts! I had a visit from Rowan family (will share more when i learn how) in recent comments, also Ramona left a comment. This inspires me!~ What happened to my bloggy skills! Newsy blogs coming up!

the poverty issue

2011-02-15T13:14:00.004-05:00

Some GREAT reading in the blogsphere these days, about topics dear to my heart. Especially right now as we are squeezing the suitcases to the limit, and trying to carry over some items that are not just "junk". Trying more so to invest in the lives of people, such as Bette who I mentioned last week.

What items are of most value? Many things can be purchased over there but how much money can we give? Who will we give it to, and how will that be helpful. Still struggling with the same issues over more than a decade.

In the meantime, A HUGE shout out to the 5 people that have offered support for Bette and her mom, to keep living and to be educated! I know that we have made a difference for one child, for sure. And maybe even four more but I will have to ask them after I return home. Right now they are pretty choked that they are not going along to ETH. Well, that is until they saw the bruise from my yellowfever VAC. Good thing that one lasts for 10 yrs, I don't recommend it!!!

It is not too late if you want to sponsor Bette for a month, let me know.

write when there's news...

2011-02-08T23:43:00.002-05:00

Remember our dear Bette, who I first told you about in March 2008? We are hoping to continue our support of her mother who has become ill and is no longer working. Bette is in school and is grateful for our help and our love (still asking the same question, Will you be my mother?)

In April 2008 I posted about "Bette's Birthday",,,look back for details...

On my 40th birthday many dear friends combined their "40.00" gifts to allow Bette to be educated. I will be checking on her again and truly hope that my same forty friends (and relatives?) might send 43.00 this year, so we can finish up her high school years.

Please let me know if you want to participate.

happy new year

2011-01-05T12:02:00.001-05:00

yep that is it for today, y'all come back now, y'hear?

sharla

2010-12-17T00:58:00.001-05:00

this is a photo of Christmas 2001. my cyber friend sharla was the only one who commented on my last post. and she has been writing about 2001 which got me thinking of it as well. her stories describe their early adoption days and this was ours: first Christmas, 2001.

merry Christmas everybody!

memory lane four yrs long

2010-11-17T10:39:00.001-05:00

favorite things

2010-11-17T10:19:00.004-05:00

Daughter #2 and son #2, are so adorable it is hard not to post all of the hundreds of photos we have. Just reading today about friends coming back from ETH with their newly adopted children and just reviewing in my mind...where we were 4 yrs ago on this date. NOV 2006 our documents had arrived in ETH. Days later, these two munchkins came from their rural village into a city orphanage. Within one day they were in a transition home and waiting to be matched with us. Our referral came to us in about 7 weeks, then we waited for court. And so it began, as our lives are entangled with the Lopiso family. How we love each and every one of them.

preparing for a family meal that was set out by our daughters, ahh they are growing up.

Forever Mine

2010-11-16T09:04:00.005-05:00

To all my friends out in fellow blogger land- I have not been coming around as much as it reminds me that I am dreadfully lacking in posts these days. Now and then I read all kinds of inspiring things, today's post is an update on the 4 kidlets at this end. We passed many significant dates this fall. Three kids have birthdays, (happy), we travelled for thanksgiving (fun), and we marked one year since the passing of Grandpa Knight (sad). One daughter is getting measured for braces (apprehensive) and one boy joined the track team (finally!!!) Scott and I went to Montreal on our 20th anniversary. One of you blogger friends said this: I just realized that Almi has been home with me longer than she lived in orphanages

Yes indeed, we feel like a family forever, by now. Our older kids have been here for 9 years and hardly remember life without us. (It takes effort to help them remember)and our 7 yr old has been here for 3 1/2 yrs, that makes everyone officially more time together than apart. Even me, having met the love of my life at age 19, now celebrating 20 yrs married!!

TOP PHOTO: what is this latest craze called silly bands? I would not know of these things except that the creator of silly bands was in Pennsylvania as we were passing thru. Now we have a collectors' item plus an autograph to boot. I hope SOMEONE is impressed...

Here is a darling 7 yr old boy, pointing out menu choices in possibly our favorite place in north america: Little Ethiopia. It is said there are nearly half a million ETH residents. wow.

and now finally, that wonderful day when everyone heads "back to school..." this young man starting gr 8 and playing hockey for the first time.

big road trip

2010-09-30T12:15:00.001-04:00

nice visit from our friends the chutes who are driving around north america just for the fun of it. they have such a great blog i thought i might get back to mine...

chuteroad.blogspot.com

safe travels my friends!

Jeanie - yena hiwot

2010-06-12T23:35:00.002-04:00

I liked your comment Jeanie! even tho it was 2 months ago I would still like to respond! How can I reach you? sk

dying to live!

2010-05-14T14:53:00.000-04:00

I did not love my adopted child

2010-04-15T21:18:00.001-04:00

this from the national post... what does everybody think?
I did not love my adopted child

'I no longer wish to parent this child."

Those words aren't mine. They come from a letter written by 33-year-old Tennessee nurse Torry Hansen, who sent it on a plane back to Russia with the seven-year-old son she'd adopted last September. But there were moments last summer, after we brought home our newly adopted three-year-old from China, when they could have been mine. That line perfectly encapsulates the way I felt for weeks after we returned from our adoption trip (although my version would have included more cursing). I did not love that child. That child did not love me (although, when she wasn't screaming at me, she clung to me like the last tree standing in a tornado). I did not wish to parent that child, and I did not think I ever could.

Obviously, I eventually did, or the storm that now surrounds Hansen would have enveloped me instead. But without taking away anything from what her adopted son was suffering, I understand, deep in my bones, what Hansen must have been going through when she bypassed all other emergency options and put that child on a plane.

Like me, Hansen must have thought she was prepared. She was screened, questioned, and evaluated. She would have sat through the mandatory "adoption education" session on institutionalized children featuring descriptions of sexual and other abuses, violent anger and unpredictable procedural delays. She would have filled out forms, she would have been evaluated by social workers, and, because of Russia's strict travel requirements, she would have traveled there twice -- the first time to meet the child she would adopt, and again, after a waiting period, to confirm her commitment to parenting him and to legalize their ties. But prospective adoptive parents are either incorrigible optimists (that was me) or people of deep and abiding faith and it does not really sink in with most of them that things might end badly until it is too late.

Hansen's case isn't the first to end this way. She's not even the first parent to return her child to Russia -- a couple from Georgia took a nine-year-old girl back in 2000, saying they could not get her the help she needed. Russia is notorious for difficult adoptees -- their institutional system is more rigid than those in other countries and often offers less opportunity for young children to bond with a caregiver, which is considered key to transferring trust and affection to an adoptive parent later. But there are tragic adoption stories from every part of the world. A Florida woman left her adopted Guatemalan kindergartener in the airport immediately after bringing him to the United States (he remained in foster care until she sought, and regained, custody of him 16 months later). Not every tough case ends in tragedy or rejection, but plenty of adoptive parents (including some of my closest friends) cling to some sort of "Plan B" as they get through the first months home with what is essentially a stranger -- an angry, troubled stranger that you've promised to love unconditionally for life.
Hansen adopted a seven-year-old boy from a country with a long history of troubled adoptions of institutionalized children. I adopted a 3-year-old raised in the best possible circumstances for an abandoned girl-baby in China -- a foster home, with a loving couple whom she called Mommy and Baba, who'd parented her since she was two-months-old. With their help and support, she was transitioned to us with as much loving care as the Chinese government would allow. Yet we still struggled. My daughter screamed for hours for Mommy and we both knew I wasn't the mommy she wanted. She kicked, shouted and defied me; she slugged her new brothers and sisters when they tried

(always at the worst possible moment) to hug her. She said she did not like us; she begged to go back to Baba Mike. Her bottomless well of need meant I often had to ignore one of my other three children. I was sure I had ruined all of our lives forever.

It got better -- it's still getting better; we work daily for our happy ending. Well-meaning is a term that takes a beating, but Hansen (and I) obviously meant well. With some crazed exceptions, few adoptive parents go through this process intending to do harm. The problem is that harm has already been done. Even the best adoptive parent is just the clean-up crew.

The older children waiting for adoption in the United States and in other countries are children who've already been abandoned or abused. Prospective parents are warned about all that, but there is also a parallel mythology that's risen up around adoption that sounds like that of giving birth in the days before Anne Lamott and her spiritual heirs burst the bubble. The stories adoption agencies include in their material, the books, the blogs, all speak of an experience that's supposed to be wonderful. Your child is "home," his or her orphaned life has ended, your respective travels are over and you have been united into one big forever-family. We do not want adoption to be a process; we want it to be a destination -- and that makes us even angrier when it doesn't work out that way. Torry Hansen betrayed her son and she betrayed our belief system. We were willing to accept him as her son, and she wasn't, which makes her the villain.

This is not really anyone's fault. Humans seem to have an overwhelming need for a tidy narrative, which in adoption almost always butts up against the uglier reality. The law understands that, which is why, however wrong Hansen's actions seem to us, putting her adopted son on a plane back to Russia does not appear to have been illegal.

As long as we keep insisting that the typical adoption narrative is one in which a family comes home to joy and laughter and a happily-ever-after, cases like Hansen's will give fuel to the alarmists who insist that all adoptive parents are naive and unprepared. Russia will seem measured rather than vengeful when it threatens to temporarily suspend all U.S. adoptions -- a knee-jerk reaction that will leave hundreds of children, many of whom have already met the families who plan to take them in, waiting in institutions for months or even years while "additional safeguards" (which will probably affect only a very few adoptions) are put in place. Hansen's actions -- or rather, Russia's overreaction -- might make their adoptions, if and when they happen, even more likely to fail: The longer a child is institutionalized, or the older she is when adopted and the more difficult the adjustment for both child and family will be.

Read more: http://www.nationalpost.com/related/topics/story.html?id=2903636&p=2#ixzz0lDoc0nrV

Our family's adoption was far from perfect, although for the moment it seems to have ended better than Hansen's. Of course, we still don't know how it really ends. Even if my adopted daughter turns out fine, there are the other children to consider -- my three-year-old biological son may spend years on the couch because my adopted daughter displaced him; either my older son or my older daughter could seek the love and affection they lost this past year in a cult or a series of destructive one-night stands. We won't know until we know (and we'll never know what might have been different).

With the publicity surrounding his return, Hansen's adopted son will surely be taken in by some Russian family, and no matter what's said about it publicly, that will not be a smooth sail down the Nile. Probably none of it will work out as anyone would have intended -- in fact, by definition, it already hasn't. A perfect world would be one in which every child could be well cared for by the mother he or she was born to. That's not what we've got. A "successful" adoption story is one in which you can tell yourself that it worked out better than the alternative. That has to be enough.

Read more: http://www.nationalpost.com/related/topics/story.html?id=2903636&p=3#ixzz0lDondIKc

Read more: http://www.nationalpost.com/related/topics/story.html?id=2903636#ixzz0lDoAbEMr

TWO TRIPS TO ETHIOPIA?

2010-04-09T10:38:00.006-04:00

Well this topic seems to be all the rage so I thought I would throw in my 2 cents from this side of the rainbow- the pot of gold side, where we already have our darlings safely home (and off to school I might add).

The journey of adoption, call it stressful, traumatic, whatever you will- not for the faint of heart. But whatever it throws at you, keep faith in the fact that it WILL end. If we were forced to travel for court, well, we may think twice about entering another adoption process. But if it came to us midstream, no doubt we would have to forge through, just one more step, one more hurdle. If that is what it comes to, you can do it. It really is worth the trip, and even worth 2 trips.

As for me, I have made 2 trips, voluntarily, since having the kids home. It is no punishment to go to ETH, right?

from our first trip in 2001

and our second trip, 2007

how many cute faces can you handle...

2010-03-10T22:01:00.000-05:00

changing ethiopia

2010-02-13T09:17:00.001-05:00

imagine1day: our story from Jered Love on Vimeo.

Health kits

2010-01-13T01:32:00.001-05:00

Health kits

Contents (NEW items only)

* 1 toothbrush (adult size; leave in wrapper)
* 1 squeeze-tube toothpaste (minimum 130ml / 6oz; leave in box)
* 1 large bar of bath soap
* 1 fingernail clipper
* 1 hand towel (larger than fingertip, dark color)

Health kits are distributed in a useful double drawstring cloth bag (28cm x 40.6cm / 11in x 16in).

Finally something great to write about. Here is a project I could get behind. Health kits for desperate friends in Ethiopia. Would you help me fill them? Will gladly pick up supplies from any who are willing to give. Also needed, shoes and used cell phones. Thx

fundraising for adoption

2010-01-06T09:15:00.002-05:00

Here is an issue that has been relevant for us over the years. Is international adoption something that our friends/relatives/church can get behind and support? Should an adoptive family simply foot the (huge) bill themselves, since it was our idea to adopt in the first place?

I found a blog of a friend from yrs back, so glad to hear they are trying to adopt from Zambia. It will cost them a pile of money, but I also see their is a charitable agency willing to give grants. I wish there were more options like that, so that many more families could adopt children who need a home. (as for children who already had a home let's not go down that road today)

Here is their description of last Saturday's donut sale...

How did it go? Wellllll....it was cold. Have I said that already? And there were at least 130 dozen donuts left over unsold....and well...honestly its nice to know thats God's deal-not ours. This was so in His hands. We did it (out of my comfort zone) and He could have easily sold them all in an hour...we did it for Him. We did profit - the total is not in yet. We were amazed and the pure kindness of complete strangers. Many who gave to us not even wanting the donuts but just wanted to give to help with the costs of our adoption! Strangers simply driving by and seeing a need!!

WISHING YOU WELL IN YOUR EFFORTS AND IF ANYONE HAS ANY IDEAS, MY NEIGHBOR IS THINKING OF ADOPTING AS WELL. FUNDRAISING TIPS WELCOME.

ode to RUTH

2010-01-04T23:26:00.002-05:00

where have our dear friends gone, across the miles and listening for the ocean breeze. God speed to you!!

serious stuff

2009-12-22T02:49:00.002-05:00

Request from a friend today saying I should post more, and about "serious stuff". I better just think of some and get this blog going again. There must be a little good news to get things started. Imagine Adoption is going again and that means some friends have a child in their future. Or at least I sure hope so.

It is such a pleasure to have our children home - yet at this time of year one can always be reminded of the family that they left behind. A mixed blessing that is for sure.

beautiful braids

2009-12-03T22:30:00.001-05:00

From time to time I realize how lucky we are to have lovely braids to admire, most of the time. How does she do it???

because I'm bored...

2009-11-29T01:18:00.002-05:00

Looking for some articles and came across this one...I have spent time wondering if ANYONE is reading this blog any more and if ever a lurker will comment, it will be now, right?? As for me, I am keeping my comments to myself. heh heh heh
Would Jesus spank a child? by JOHN PIPER

Would Jesus spank a child? If so, where would you point someone biblically who can't imagine him doing this?

If Jesus were married and had children, I think he would have spanked the children.

The place that I would go to help a person see that he would, when they can't imagine that he would, is Matthew 5 where he said, "Not a jot nor a tittle will pass away from the Law until all is accomplished." In other words, all the Law and the Prophets stand until they're done. And the Law says, "Spare the rod, spoil the child." That's a paraphrase. The book of Proverbs says, "If you withhold the rod, you hate your son." Jesus believed the Bible, and he would have done it.

Now, that does not address the heart of the issue. The heart of the issue is: Why does this person feel this way? What worldview inclines a person to think that you shouldn't spank a child? Where does that come from?

Well it comes straight out of this culture, I think. There's a sign that used to be on the side of the 35W bridge, on the right as you go north. And the sign simply said this: "Never, never, never, never, never hurt a child." That's all it said! And spanking is equated with hurting children. It's against the law in Sweden to spank a child. And it's against the law, I think, in some states in America. I'm not sure.

Well, I will go to jail over that issue! Talitha is to the point where I don't think in terms of spanking my 13-year-old daughter anymore. But I did when she was little.

I could give a whole theology of spanking here, but maybe I'll just boil it down. Why does this person feel squeamish about spanking? My guess is that it is a wrong view of God.

Deep down, does this person believe that God brings pain into our lives? Because Hebrews 12:6 makes the direct connection: God disciplines every son whom he loves, and spanks everyone that he delights in (my paraphrase). And the point there is suffering. God brings sufferings into our lives, and the writer of the Hebrews connects it to the parenting of God of his children.

This is a wrong view of God! God uses suffering to discipline his children. So do we.

Now, you don't damage a child. You don't give him a black eye or break his arm. Children have little fat bottoms so that they can be whopped.

When my sons were three and four years old, at their worst stages, drawing with orange crayons on the wall, they knew what was going to happen. So one day, just to give you an illustration of how this works emotionally, I found an orange mark on the wall in the hall upstairs from a crayon. Just about Barnabas' height. And he's three or four.

So I get Barnabas. I say, "Come here Barnabas. Did you make that mark on the wall."

"Yes." At least he's honest.

I said, "We have a rule against that. You know you cannot draw on the wall with your crayons. You're old enough to know that."

"Yes."

"So what should happen?"

"A spanking."

I said, "That's right." So I take him in the room, and whop! And he cries easy, so he cries. And when he's done crying, there's a big hug. And I say, "Don't do that again, OK? Daddy loves you and we don't mark on the wall, OK?"

Three minutes later he is bouncing off the walls, happy happy happy.

Now if I had said to him, "You go into your room and you sit there and you stay there until you feel appropriately guilty, and then we'll see if you come out and do the right thing," what a wicked way to punish a child!

Spanking is so clean! It's so quick! It's so relieving! A kid feels like he has done atonement and he is out of there and happy.

To these modern ideas of timeout, or sitting in the corner, I say, "Bologna! Give me a spanking! I want to go play!"

I just think spanking is really healthy for children. It is a measured deliverance of a non-damaging act of mild pain that makes the child feel the seriousness of what he's done. It is not beating. It is not abuse. There is a clear difference. The very word "spank" exists because there is such a thing as a loving way to whop a child on his behind or his chunky thigh.

© Desiring God

looking for work

2009-11-24T11:01:00.000-05:00

new rules not cool

2009-11-22T23:35:00.000-05:00

at least for someone who loves the cell phone like I do. Let's hope there is a hands free phone in my future...

one for the road

2009-11-19T23:48:00.000-05:00

i just love these kidlets, can't help it

not on my watch

2009-11-19T23:42:00.003-05:00

these are the things kids get away with AFTER mommy leaves the party...

and here is a quote from jevon: it is only fun until someone loses their teeth. And then it is hockey.

Back to the blog...

2009-11-19T23:36:00.002-05:00

Had to get something on here, not fair to only glean from all my talented friends in blog world and not add anything to my pile at all.

Kids are enjoying a fall visit at Nana's house... I am happy for them!

Who is my child, really?

2009-09-28T10:13:00.002-04:00

Just a reminder about transracial adoption, the great big social experiment. Results not yet in.

Lucky spin built 'Little Ethiopia'

2009-09-27T19:03:00.001-04:00

Lucky spin built 'Little Ethiopia'

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helmets for horses

2009-09-26T23:53:00.000-04:00

Back in the day, we just rode horses. Never had helmets. One time I actually fell off and landed on my head. Slight concussion I think, but who can remember for sure. Anyway this kid now getting into the horse back riding thing. Really cute and precious in his costume. Also willing to put on his ETH costume for the following party. today he says: Mommy everybody in the world likes me. Now, this is no closer to the truth than the "everybody hates me" self image, but isn't it a wonderful place to be? He is cocky and innocent all at the same time. I could just eat him up. And sometimes I do. And sometimes I eat chocolate ice cream and just pretend it is him.

tonite in a book about "people are different" the two little ones examined each others' eyes: some people have brown eyes "hey we are the same! that is so cool!! giving each other high fives "brown eyes, yeah!" and some people have different eyes (mommy) Yes mommy's are blue - hey can I see the brown ones again?

And along those lines, where it seems the world has this bias that lighter is better (not that i see it that way) the oldest son examines his farmers tan and proclaims that he is an unusually "light" brown person. Yes, Teya and I are the lightest. I mean, I am lighter than her but we are the lightest in the family. I just stared at him for a minute. Oh... well I guess you and daddy are... Yes, I guess we are.

these comments of great interest, as there were many many yrs where skin tone was hardly mentioned in our home. Now it is a contest for the lightest, and maybe I have a shot! But if you want to enjoy something darker than chocolate brownie look at those Kembatan kids, and actually their father. So amazing. Little girl saw a picture of a little girl in Victoria: hey she looks like me. she has my hair. she has my eyes. she has my skin. Well, I had to admit, she comes from the same part of the world that you come from! Beautiful children, all.

happy new year all right!

2009-09-25T23:51:00.000-04:00

thinking of Rana's post on NYC and just thought I should mention that the memory of 9/11 struck me as well... particulary as I was staring at my meal on ETH airlines, soon to become my favorite carrier. I wondered if some people were afraid to fly on this day. I was not. But it brought back the memories of a time well before I entered the world of blogdom. Tomorrow let me tell the story.

Fine looking cowpokes

2009-09-24T23:57:00.000-04:00

in case i did not talk about the dress up party i thought these two were just delightful cowboys!!!

just one more girl

2009-09-22T09:24:00.000-04:00

Seeing this family union makes me wonder if we could do it again, just one more time? A little girl with eyes of gold and a smile to knock you over. She had me from the first word "mama" (even tho it wasn't being said to me). She would not come near me in fact, but that did not matter. She is precious from a distance. What a gem.

I'm the winner!

2009-09-21T22:49:00.000-04:00

Heard today at bedtime: I so glad you chose me, mommy. When you looked for a son you chose me, cuz I'n a good reader, wight? They said you can have Tess, or Teya and you chose me! Yes son I am glad you chose me too. I didn't choose you cuz I couldn't even talk! My dad and my other mom chose you. And that other boss. Do you remember that? Yes we went on the long ride, like a train, but we stopped at the injera place and they gave us something to eat. I glad you chose me because I love you mommy and yer my sweetie.

You are my sweetie too.

And from little sister: I love you mommy that is why I kiss you all the time. Like 17 times. Yes I know darling. And I know you like chocolate right mommy? Yep I do. And you smell good mommy and you are not chocolate. No I am not. But I LOVE vanilla! gobble gobble (picture 4 yr old chewing sounds)

Speaking of 4 yr old sounds the story book was about a sea gull and she imitated the sound, of a seagull, to perfection. I have no idea where she heard that one. Yep, the kids that rock my world.

2009-09-14T22:33:00.000-04:00

friend for me

2009-09-14T22:25:00.002-04:00

Had a great time meeting the sister of my ETH nanny, and she is as lovely as her looks predict. Now looking for some potential job placements...

whose blog is this???

2009-09-14T22:16:00.003-04:00

AAAck whose blog is this? It has been so long I hardly recognize the photos or the background. One might wonder what we are up to. After we have finished soaking our feet I will let you know!

2009-08-16T21:50:00.001-04:00

this summer is fun

2009-07-25T00:57:00.000-04:00

Here is a little snapshot of the fun being had this summer by all the drivers in our family...

Hopeful parents try to find answers

2009-07-24T01:12:00.001-04:00

Hopeful parents try to find answers

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BANKRUPT

2009-07-13T03:01:00.000-04:00

Not me but an agency I know. This is hard news to swallow when one has come back from 3 weeks of vacation, not to mention absence from the internet.

I know many many people in the adoption waiting game right now. And some I actually have met face to face! But I care about them all. Holding my little ones pretty tight while they sleep tonite.

Always the one to jump in with both feet where I think I can help, what to do now? One friend suggesting to raise money for children in foster care since the agency will no longer be providing that care... Can I offer some contacts in hopes of catching paper before it hits the ground?

Dear friends this roller coaster feels like it will be the end of us. I know what I am talking about. Stay strong.

back with my nephew

2009-06-23T16:56:00.001-04:00

here is the oldest nephew excelling in my favorite sport (to watch), TRIATHLON.

way to go Trav we are so proud of you.

Ethiopian music

2009-06-18T09:11:00.003-04:00

I hope to get this on here in honour of my ETH friend who lives in my hometown and offered to BBQ for us, but why not make injera instead???

identity theft

2009-06-13T18:25:00.002-04:00

Here is a news story that illustrates a topic I know little about. In fact you could say I do not even believe in it. Several events of late are about to make a believer out of me... This afternoon a phone call telling me that I am eligible for lower interest on my mastercard or visa. Excuse me? We are calling to offer you a lower interest, of 2.9% on your visa or mastercard account, is this Mrs Knight? Yes. Well which one do you have? I don't. You don't have a visa or mastercard? NO. Oh, sorry maam.

Then the phone rings a number of times, over different hours, and hang up after hangup. I heard that computers/telemarketers monitor who answers at which times. Then call back and offer, well, as in example above. Then, news today:

ST. LOUIS - It's an international mystery: How did a U.S. family's Christmas card photo end up in the Czech Republic, splashed across a huge storefront advertisement?

Danielle Smith said Wednesday that the photo taken of her family last year got sent to family and friends, and was posted on her blog and a few social networking sites. The photo showed her and her husband Jeff holding their two young children.

About 10 days ago, one of Smith's college friends was driving through Prague when he spotted their huge smiling faces in the window of a store specializing in European food. He snapped a few pictures and sent them to a flabbergasted Smith.

"It's a life-size picture in a grocery store window in Prague - my Christmas card photo!" said Smith, 36, who lives in the St. Louis suburb of O'Fallon.

Mario Bertuccio, who owns the Grazie store in Prague, said the photo was from the Internet. Details were sparse, but he said he thought it was computer-generated. When told it was a real photo - of a real family - he said he started taking steps to remove it.

"We'll be happy to write an email with our apology," said Bertuccio, who said he would send the Smiths a bottle of good wine if they lived in his eastern European country.

The Smiths and photographer Gina Kelly hadn't authorized anyone to use the pictures. Kelly said she has asked a professional photographers' organization to help figure out how her image wound up in Prague.

Smith has gotten 180,000 hits to her Web site since she recently posted the story about the well-travelled snapshot. She said the photo wasn't used in an unseemly manner, it was just used to tell potential shoppers about the store's delivery service.

Smith said next time she posts a photo on the Internet, she's going to lower the resolution or add an electronic watermark to make it hard to reproduce.

"This story doesn't frighten me, but the potential frightens me," Smith said.

I invite your comments on the topic identity theft, should I believe?

-

falling asleep

2009-06-11T00:56:00.001-04:00

Was getting bored reading facebook and I am sure people are falling asleep reading this blog. Especially given the hour of day that it is... Should be finding some great topics very soon to share with you, many of the blogs I stalk are just filled with inspirational ideas.

the only unique and inspirational thing that comes from me, is pictured above. I say that she comes from me because people tell her she looks like me. and she does. xo xo

2009-05-30T21:56:00.000-04:00

I think I need a direct linkage to Allison's blog, every time i go there I find something inspiring and today I actually found the computer knowledge (or luck) to copy it. I am so glad. I hope to see you this weekend Allison.

range of emotions

2009-05-29T09:39:00.003-04:00

Oh there is a wide spectrum of euphoria in my morning readings... families who like us have waited and waited to find out WHEN can we meet our child, WHO is our child, WHY do we have to endure all the unknowns and unexplainable delays,
WHAT is the background of my child etc etc. Now fast forward a year or two when life at home changes, like you never knew it could (well we had some idea but anyway). And you are thinking is THIS my child, is NOW the time? HOW will I find the strength to get thru these challenges, I do not want all of my stuff to be broken, my schedule to disappear etc etc.

Oh dear friends todays photo is to remind us that as time passes and the love grows, you will wake up one morning and see the warmest sweetest brown face pressed close to yours. You will go downstairs and find he has dumped out all the sandwich bags which were his lunch and used your tupperware instead, because of the EARTH (what is he talking about?) you will find he creates a dessert thinking mommy will love to eat it, you will see more happy moments and less times of feeling lost, angry, explosive.

I thank God for this steady improvement over time - and for continually reminding me that this huge change in both of our lives was OUR doing, our child would really rather be in the place where he started. Chasing goats and drinking buna (so he says). In all ways WE are the lucky ones.

darlings

2009-05-20T22:48:00.000-04:00

Haragwan cannot wait to hold new baby cousin again soon...

found on the net

2009-05-16T00:20:00.002-04:00

The other side of the coin - after reading this I am GLAD to know that our children have birth family alive and aware of where their children have gone. The REST is another story..

Ethiopia

Adoption Alert

U.S. DEPARTMENT OF STATE
Bureau of Consular Affairs
Office of Children’s Issues

May 13, 2009

Adoptions of Abandoned Children Halted by Ethiopian Court:
The Ethiopian First Instance Court has temporarily stopped accepting cases involving abandoned children from orphanages in Addis Ababa, citing concern over a recent increase in the number of abandoned children being brought for adoption. The number of abandoned children from orphanages in Addis Ababa has grown dramatically in recent months and Ethiopian authorities have become aware of possible cases of unethical practices associated with some of them.

Currently neither MOWA nor the First Instance Court are accepting any abandonment case from any orphanages in Addis Ababa pending an inquiry.

Please continue to monitor adoption.state.gov for updated information on Ethiopia.

what's up - wassup??

2009-05-15T00:48:00.002-04:00

This is what we are supposed to ask our kids if things don't appear "right" or they stop complaining. Good parenting advice: wassup?? And then another friend said she uses a splash of water to stop the whining. Both good advice!

My grandmother is unable to travel for a funeral in ON. She lost her sister (age 95) and if my sister makes it to 95 I definitely want to make it to the funeral. Mind you I will be in the range of 100 so I may be busy at that time...

Ruby Dhalla is an MP who is accused of mis treating 3 nannies, in the space of a few months. I must discuss this news with our nanny as she is quite encouraging of others to work in Canada as a nanny. We just need some more families to hire them as it is not common practise for common people to have a nanny. Just MPs - and me - and the Immigration guy we met at the border this week. He said he had a nanny for 3 yrs.

I thought it would never happen: referrals for adoption to people who have been waiting 18 months. what a sense of relief. Heck, I am relieved and I stopped waiting yrs ago. i am delighted that one referral is going to a single mother, as there was some rumors about singles no longer being approved. Sure hope the rest of you on line friends can survive the interminable wait.

We have spent so much time enjoying the neighborhood as we do at this time of yr, lots of biking, soccer and now a sand box as well.
Wow.

Some talk of blogs going private. I hope not, as i hate to remember all the various passwords for all the various things. Besides, this is still the internet, is anything REALLY private??

this for today...

worst of times/best of times

2009-05-10T01:15:00.003-04:00

That's right, the day on the calendar is mothers day and believe me it was not always the best of times. Even to this day when they hand out the little bookmarks or carnations at church i feel myself drifting towards the nearest exit. I spoke to a friend with no kids and she has gone thru similar feelings for years. I am now on the "other side" as my first mother's day was 8 yrs ago but those 11 yrs of waiting will not be forgotten.

It is bitter sweet, hard to think of mothers day with out acknowledging the struggle it took to get to this point. But even bitter chocolate tastes fine, and i had a little nibble off of 3 earlobes as i was tucking them into bed tonite (one is not home and assures me that he no longer wants to be nibbled by mommy anyway) and i ask them how did i get so lucky as to have a precious child like you - i heard comments like " je t'aime maman" and i wuv you mommy and i'n a africa man, you got me dere.

one blogging friend titles it :to dream the impossible dream. on this of all days it must be said, pinch me i am dreaming.

a blessed mothers day to all in the trenches with me, living as the object of your child's affection ( and in some cases the antagonist in their dramatic production). it is a very good place to be.

something to post

2009-05-07T22:54:00.001-04:00

what is this you ask? my friend Vonny the chef now has earned internet fame, apparently she is the only one at the conference center who can produce this lovely welcome plate and she does it for many of the VIPs, congrats girl!!

although i have never seen that particular dish i have admired her for bday cakes, chinese dumplings, pad thai, cinnamon buns, samosas etc etc.

pay it forward?

2009-04-27T08:39:00.004-04:00

What Goes Around Comes Around

The following is from my email junk box. Not sure if it is a title of a movie or a country song...

One day a man saw an old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but
even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up
in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when
he approached her.
Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to
help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe;
he looked poor and hungry!

He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He
knew how she felt. It was that chill which only fear can put in you. He
said, 'I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson.'

Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad
enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack,
skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire.
But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.

As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and
began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only
just passing through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid.

Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she
owed him.. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already
imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped.
Bryan never thought twice about being paid.

This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God
knows there were plenty, who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived
his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.

He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she
saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they
needed, and Bryan added, 'And think of me.'

He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold
and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing
into the twilight.

A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab
a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her
trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas
pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and
brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant,but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan. After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill.

The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the
old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the
waitress came back.

The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin.

There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: 'You
don't owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you.'

Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard....

She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to
her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, 'Everything's going to be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson.'

There is an old saying 'What goes around comes around.' Today I sent you
this story, and I'm asking you to pass it on. Let this light shine.

Don't delete it, don't return it. Simply, pass this on to a friend.

Good friends are
like stars....You don't
always see them, but you
know they are always there.

adoptions that move

2009-04-27T01:15:00.002-04:00

This must be an american blog but from time to time i find myself blog surfing - here is what struck me greatly today: A family prepared their dossier and had it submitted in October (yes i mean 2008) was referred 2 kids that look kind of like ours (older kids is what i mean)and then had court and subsequently travelled to ETH in January 2009!! ?? These things are still happening? Wow i must find out which state to move to. That is, if I wanted to adopt again. So far I do not want to live in NS, QB, ON, MB or AB based on my CDN experience. Ah, I must not forget SK, gotta love SK. Perhaps I would still recommend that province for any potential adopters. Life in general seems pretty good in SK.

Good week all...

sons and daughters

2009-04-26T00:47:00.002-04:00

I have not posted a photo of my big boy in a while, hope he does not think he is no longer a member of this blog. maybe i thought he would not want the publicity. I still take the odd photo of this manly looking teenager, even last month while he slept. I used to do that when he was a little guy and so very sweet.

He may say he does not want the publicity but when adoption stories were on the cbc he said, why aren't WE on there, we should be on TV too! I said, i thought you did not want to talk to the camera. he says, You and daddy could have told it, why did we miss it???

heh heh who ever knows what kids are thinking.

new friend- how great is that?

2009-04-22T23:35:00.005-04:00

Canadian border opens to Rwandan genocide survivor

Written by Sheila Dabu, The Catholic Register,

Rwandan genocide survivor Patricie Mukundiyukuri gets a taste of Canada. (Photo by Chantal Merizzi)TORONTO - Fifteen years after the genocide in Rwanda, 24-year-old survivor Patricie Mukundiyukuri has come to Canada to bring a message of hope and forgiveness.

“What happened to Rwanda can be an example to people who are going through problems,” she said through an interpreter from Cornwall, Ont.

“Things which have happened in the past are over. We need to sit down, talk, forgive one another and be able to talk about peace.”

Mukundiyukuri will speak at the Fountaingate Christian Assembly Church in Cornwall on April 26. Plans are still being finalized for talks in Ottawa, Quebec and aboriginal reserves in Manitoba.

Mukundiyukuri is vice-president of Rose of Dignity, a Christian non-profit group helping Rwandan women who are survivors of the 1994 genocide get out of prostitution by teaching them life and business skills. Last year, Mukundiyukuri was invited to do a speaking tour in Canada about her experience with reconciliation by Northern Connections, a Christian, aboriginal-run organization which works with First Nations communities in northern Manitoba.

Mukundiyukuri was only nine years old when militants attacked her village, leading to the separation of her family and the deaths of her father and eight siblings during the genocide. Mukundiyukuri said she thought she was going to be killed when she was taken to a ditch with other villagers and ordered to dig graves for her friends who were murdered by strangers wielding machetes and razor-sharp hoes. But her life was spared because one of the killers remembered Mukundiyukuri’s mother who had helped her in the past.

In a span of 100 days, close to 800,000 Rwandans were killed during the genocide.

Mukundiyukuri said she plans to bring a message of peace, hope and reconciliation during her talks in Canada.

Before the genocide, she said she and her family were church-going Catholics. But the genocide shook her faith and trust in God.

After meeting Rose of Dignity founder Chantal Merizzi of Cornwall, who started her organization in Rwanda’s capital, Kigali, three years ago, Mukundiyukuri said she came back to her faith.

“God opened up the doors for her to come,” Merizzi said.

“You can become bitter or better,” she added, “and she has always chosen to become better.”

Sheila Dabu, The Catholic Register
About the author:
Sheila Dabu is a reporter for The Catholic Register. A graduate of the University of Toronto's masters program in international relations, she has worked at The Canadian Press, CBC Ottawa, The Toronto Star, The Jordan Times and IRIN Middle East.

get out of dullsville and get posting

2009-04-20T23:39:00.000-04:00

Seems like nothing is happening around here- not true at all. However some photos were lost due to kids pressing buttons. Life goes on.

Here is one of the great specialists at the children's hospital. The one that operated on my daughter and now tells me that her hearing has improved. Tests show that the ear drum is patched and the hearing loss has changed from "moderate" to mild. I thank God for that. I thank Him for Dr JPV.

did you see this movie?

2009-04-05T23:27:00.001-04:00

Back in the blog game... and looking for your comments. To get the ball rolling, ha ha, did you watch this CDN based movie tonite which tells the story that i found in the news here:

Ex-NBA player's custody case reaches high court
Former Vancouver Grizzly: B.C. appeal court gave Blue Edwards custody based partly on skin colour
Chris Wattie, with files from Janice Tibbetts, Southam News
National Post

Ward Perrin, Vancouver Sun
Kimberly Van de Perre currently shares custody of three-year-old Elijah, but a B.C. court has said the boy should be raised in his father's black family.

Peter Battistoni, Vancouver Sun

Blue Edwards and his wife, Valerie Edwards, now live in North Carolina. Evidence shows the basketball player has had numerous affairs.

The Supreme Court of Canada agreed yesterday to hear the custody battle between a millionaire basketball player and his Canadian lover, a case in which a three-year-old boy was awarded to the father in part because of the colour of his skin.

Theodore "Blue" Edwards, a former player for the NBA's Vancouver Grizzlies, was awarded custody of his son, Elijah, last March, when the British Columbia Court of Appeal overturned a lower court ruling that gave custody to the boy's mother, Kimberly Van de Perre, a single mother from Vancouver.

The three judges ruled unanimously that the boy would be better off with the wealthy Edwards family because they can raise him in a black culture in the United States.

Mr. Edwards, who is black, won sole custody because the court determined the child will always be perceived as "being black" because of his skin colour, even though his mother, Ms. Van de Perre, is white.

"It seems likely to me that being raised in an Afro-American family in a part of the world where the black population is proportionally greater than it is here would be to some extent less difficult than it would be in Canada," read the appeal court decision.

"Elijah would in this event have a greater chance of achieving a sense of cultural belonging and identity."

The judges concluded Elijah would therefore be better off growing up with Mr. Edwards, his wife, Valerie, and their 10-year-old twin daughters in North Carolina.

"As much as one might wish it were otherwise, the existence of inter-racial problems in Canadian (and indeed North American) society cannot be ignored," the B.C. judges ruled.

As is usual, the three-judge panel of the Supreme Court gave no reason for its decision to hear the appeal.

The court also extended an order delaying the handover of the child to Mr. Edwards pending the case being heard, which is not expected to occur until next year.

Tatiana van Riemsdijk, an historian at Simon Fraser University specializing in black history and culture, said yesterday she was relieved that the Supreme Court will hear the appeal of the B.C. decision, which she called "frightening judicial activism."

"This is blatant racial segregation," Ms. van Riemsdijk said. "I'm actually shaking, I'm so appalled by this decision."

She said the appeal court judges made sweeping generalizations in their decision about the nature of black culture, race and society.

"[The judges] are actually saying that it's better to grow up black in the American South than in Canada," she said incredulously. "The decision says that the best place to learn how to deal with racial discrimination is the South .... It's frightening."

Ms. van Riemsdijk said the appeal court ruling is based on the same argument that was used in the 1820s in the U.S., when it was proposed to send black slaves and freed slaves back to Africa because: "They're better off with their own kind. This is a very old argument that is being revived."

Mr. Edwards, 35, met Ms. Van de Perre, a 25-year-old former beauty queen, in a Vancouver nightclub in 1996 when he was making $2-million a year playing for the Vancouver Grizzlies.

The case is expected to provide a glimpse into the often promiscuous world of a professional basketball player as the court considers Mr. Edwards' many extramarital affairs and Ms. Van de Perre's passion for the "sports groupie" bar scene.

The appeal court judgment said Ms. Van de Perre at first told a psychologist she had sex with only one other basketball player besides Mr. Edwards, and he "was like a superstar."

But she later told the court she had been more sexually active than she had previously indicated.

"She stated she has other male friends on other NBA teams, although when they come to town, she stated she is 'like the tour guide,' helping them to find places where they can 'meet cute chicks,' " the judgment read.

The appeal court took into account the strength of character of Valerie Edwards, described as a "rock" who holds her family together while her husband of nine years is on the road where he, according to court testimony, "leads a glamorous life in which he frequently indulges in extramarital sex."

The judgment also quoted Mrs. Edwards as saying that Ms. Van de Perre "couldn't teach him what it's going to be like to be black, and how he is going to be seen in the world as being black ... And reading books won't help."

The original 1999 ruling from the trial judge emphasized Mr. Edwards' character flaws and the fact that he did not have the same commitment to their son as Ms. Van de Perre.

The judge said of Mr. Edwards, who played last season in a professional team in Greece: "While Mr. Edwards testified that he had remained faithful to his wife for the first 18 months of his marriage, he has had at least three affairs since then and, I conclude, in all probability he has had more."

Judge Terrance Warren also expressed concern that the Edwards' marriage may not last. "The defendant's wife is convinced that she and her husband will grow old together," he wrote. "I am not satisfied that the defendant has a similar will to remain committed to this marriage and he certainly has not been candid with his wife ... Mrs. Edwards is always playing catch-up when it comes to knowledge of her husband's extra-curricular activities."

Mr. Edwards and Ms. Van de Perre, who receives $3,500 a month in child support, have shared custody of their son since the last court ruling, according to documents filed with the Supreme Court.

Ms. Van de Perre is asking the court to rule on six questions as well as the race issue, including the weight that should be placed on the future stability of the Edwards family, whether traditional families are preferred over non-traditional or single-parent families and the role of parental misconduct in custody decisions.

Mrs Ruth Graham dead at age 87...

2009-03-21T22:59:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I feel like the last to know. The wife of Billy Graham died at her home about 18 mos ago. For some reason I did not notice or at least make notice of it here. This comes from her website:

Ruth Bell Graham Dies
Wife of Billy Graham Succumbs to Lingering Illness, Surrounded by Loved Ones at Her Deathbed

ONTREAT, N.C., JUNE 14—Mrs. Ruth Bell Graham, beloved wife of world-renowned evangelist Billy Graham, died at 5:05 p.m. today, at her home at Little Piney Cove in Montreat, N.C., surrounded by her husband and all five children. She was 87. A public funeral service to honor Mrs. Graham has been scheduled for 2 p.m. on Saturday, June 16, in Anderson Auditorium at the Montreat Conference Center in Montreat, N.C. Public funeral service

“Ruth was my life partner, and we were called by God as a team,” Mr. Graham said of his life-long marriage and ministry partner. “No one else could have borne the load that she carried. She was a vital and integral part of our ministry, and my work through the years would have been impossible without her encouragement and support.

“I am so grateful to the Lord that He gave me Ruth, and especially for these last few years we’ve had in the mountains together,” Mr. Graham continued. “We’ve rekindled the romance of our youth, and my love for her continued to grow deeper every day. I will miss her terribly, and look forward even more to the day I can join her in Heaven.”

Mr. Graham confirmed today that his wife’s final resting place will be at the foot of a cross-shaped walkway in the Prayer Garden on the grounds of the recently dedicated Library bearing his name adjacent to his ministry headquarters in Charlotte. Earlier this year the Grahams agreed together that they would be buried side-by-side at the Library, a decision made by the two of them alone.

Ruth Bell was born June 10, 1920, in Qingjiang, Kiangsu, China, the daughter of medical missionaries L. Nelson and Virginia Leftwich Bell. She attended high school in Pyongyang, (now North) Korea. She first came to the United States at the age of seven, while her parents were on furlough. She returned to the United States at the age of 17 to attend Wheaton College in Wheaton, Ill. Shortly after his arrival on campus, she was introduced to “Preacher,” the nickname other students gave the strapping Billy Graham from Charlotte, North Carolina. They were married in August 1943, following their graduating together that June.

Between 1945 and 1958, Mrs. Graham gave birth to five children, whom she raised—sometimes single-handedly—while her husband was away on extended national and international evangelistic crusades. The three daughters and two sons who survive her are all actively involved in ministry, including eldest son Franklin, who heads the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association (BGEA) founded by his father.

“My father would not have been what he is today if it wasn’t for my mother,” Franklin said. “She stood strong for what was biblically correct and accurate. She would help my father prepare his messages, listening with an attentive ear, and if she saw something that wasn’t right or heard something that she felt wasn’t as strong as it could be, she was a voice to strengthen this or eliminate that. Every person needs that kind of input in their life, and she was that to my father.”

In 1959, Mrs. Graham published her first book, Our Christmas Story, an illustrated volume for children. She went on to write or co-author 13 other books, many of them works of poetry she wrote as an emotional release while her husband was so often on the road through the years.

“I don’t believe Mother has adequately been recognized and honored for what she had done; because, without her, Daddy’s ministry would not have been possible,” said Ruth Graham, youngest daughter—and namesake—regarding her mother’s influence and partnership in her father’s ministry.

“How does one live with one of the world’s most famous men?” daughter Ruth continued. “God began training my mother for this position years ago in China. Her parents exercised a profound effect upon the development of her character, and laid the foundations for who she was. What she witnessed in her family home, she practiced for herself—dependence on God in every circumstance, love for His Word, concern for others above self, and an indomitable spirit displayed with a smile.

“Her happiness and fulfillment did not depend on her circumstances,” the younger Ruth concluded. “She was a lovely, beautiful, and wise woman, because early in life she made Christ her home, her purpose, her center, her confidant, and her vision.”

Mrs. Graham’s significant role in Mr. Graham’s ministry was recognized in 1996, when they were jointly awarded the Congressional Gold Medal in a special ceremony in the Capital Rotunda in Washington, which reflected a consensus of love and support from all branches of government in attendance.

Ruth Graham was always a vital part of Mr. Graham’s evangelistic career, and he turned to her for advice and input about many ministry decisions. One of the early uses of media by the BGEA was the “Hour of Decision” radio program begun in 1950, which she named. After her upbringing in China and high school experience in Korea, she continued to have a burden for the people of Asia. She encouraged her husband to visit and later accompanied him during his historic visits to the People’s Republic of China.

Ruth Graham has been in frail health since suffering spinal meningitis in 1995. That was exacerbated by a degenerative back condition that began with a fall out of a tree while helping a grandchild fix a swing in 1974 that resulted in chronic back pain for many years. Bedridden or wheelchair-bound since the late 1990s, Mrs. Graham wasn’t able to accompany her husband during his last few years of ministry, but was always a continued source of inspiration and support for him through her prayers and wise biblical counsel.

Mrs. Graham is survived by her husband Billy; daughters Virginia, Anne Morrow, and Ruth Bell; sons William Franklin, III, and Nelson Edman; 19 grandchildren; and numerous great-grandchildren.

adoption as sinful?

2009-03-06T23:46:00.003-05:00

Interesting post I found by some writers at the ABBA fund. It still leaves me with a few questions -- just because the process is "slow" does that mean it is somehow more "thorough" or ethical?

And...if orphans need rescuing do children who have lots of bio family but no money need rescuing as well? These questions color my daily reality.

It would seem nearly impossible for one to make the act of rescuing an orphan sinful. However, as someone recently thrust into the process, I have become well aware that adopting offers a myriad of opportunities for sinful behavior. I have even seen adopting Christians forget about the person they are rescuing because they are only concerned with how the process is affecting them at a given moment of delay or difficulty. Blinded by the deceitfulness of sin, what should inherently mean good for another is devoted to the altar of self. Feeling the natural tendency of my own heart, I have had to pray constantly, “Lord save me from turning the adoption of two Ethiopian orphans into an act of self-serving wicked idolatry.[...]

[...] Adoptive parents can begin to think the world should stop and someone should just hand them their child. They sound like the kids in the aisle of Walmart throwing a temper tantrum demanding their toy. Sadly, the orphan becomes not a child in need but a thing that they want and want now. Believe it or not, I even read the header of one adoption update that included profanity concerning a family’s recent delay. I wonder if they will include that in their forever family scrapbook?

Concerning those involved in adopting internationally, what is just as troubling is when Christians start playing the ‘American card.’ I have read blog after blog that tends to put all the emphasis on rights that the American family should have in adopting kids from other countries. As if we deserve kids from another country, just because we live in a America. This coming from Christians! I am not sure this is the connection between the Great Commission and adoption for which we have been looking.

Instead of respecting (or just understanding) the state of the adoption system in other countries, we act as if they owe us something, specifically their children. The prevailing attitude seems to be, “We have the nice homes and money. Why not just give us the kids?”[...]It would seem nearly impossible for one to make the act of rescuing an orphan sinful. However, as someone recently thrust into the process, I have become well aware that adopting offers a myriad of opportunities for sinful behavior. I have even seen adopting Christians forget about the person they are rescuing because they are only concerned with how the process is affecting them at a given moment of delay or difficulty. Blinded by the deceitfulness of sin, what should inherently mean good for another is devoted to the altar of self. Feeling the natural tendency of my own heart, I have had to pray constantly, “Lord save me from turning the adoption of two Ethiopian orphans into an act of self-serving wicked idolatry.”

Adoption has many twists and turns that one cannot anticipate from the beginning. With all the documentation it takes and all the hands that your paperwork has to go through, there is a huge risk for mistakes. Having to trust a small army of people, who you may never ever see in your lifetime, to approve and deliver everything needed in a timely manner is nerve racking to say the least. For those of us who like to think we are in control of all things, the opportunity for anxiety is tremendous. It is not to be underestimated.

However, halfway through the process that person who just loves Jesus and wants to rescue orphans can turn from one who counts it all joy to one who is full of grumbling murmurs. In the form of prayer requests and ‘journey updates’, they excuse their sin as venting and being open with their feelings. The scary thing is what those feelings are revealing about what’s going on in their heart. Who are they really serving in this matter?
Adoptive parents can begin to think the world should stop and someone should just hand them their child. They sound like the kids in the aisle of Walmart throwing a temper tantrum demanding their toy. Sadly, the orphan becomes not a child in need but a thing that they want and want now. Believe it or not, I even read the header of one adoption update that included profanity concerning a family’s recent delay. I wonder if they will include that in their forever family scrapbook?

Concerning those involved in adopting internationally, what is just as troubling is when Christians start playing the ‘American card.’ I have read blog after blog that tends to put all the emphasis on rights that the American family should have in adopting kids from other countries. As if we deserve kids from another country, just because we live in a America. This coming from Christians! I am not sure this is the connection between the Great Commission and adoption for which we have been looking.

Instead of respecting (or just understanding) the state of the adoption system in other countries, we act as if they owe us something, specifically their children. The prevailing attitude seems to be, “We have the nice homes and money. Why not just give us the kids?”

It is true corruption abounds and many requirements may seem arbitrary to us. The process can be grueling when you are relying on folks who may take the rainy season off or may simply decide not to work on a given day, due to a solar eclipse. But, instead of taking on the persona of a pro-wrestler, thumping our chest and saying, “We deserve them because we are better than you!” should we not first remember what’s at stake. Is it just about us getting our kids? Or is it about rescuing children who desperately need a family. The American in general may not be on board with this, but the Christian should be.
I have been honored to encounter the family who is overwhelmed with the circumstances of their soon to be child and weep while they discuss the conditions of the orphanage. These folks are blessings and remind me that this process is about the glory of God and the condition of the orphan. Such people are easy to point out because their prayer lists are more about the child, the country, and the orphanage. Their updates are void of the sort of slander and prejudice toward the systems and people of other nations that many are prone to include. They pray for mercy and justice for the fatherless, not for themselves.

Understand I fear such idolatry taking place in my own heart. By God’s grace I have not posted any complaints or ‘ventings’ at this point. That’s not to say its beyond me.

At this moment, we wait realizing that the fate of these two boys is now in the hands of people we have never seen. There is a man in Ethiopia who is carrying around the last 30 years of my life in paper form. He will represent my wife and I and who we hope to be our future sons in the Ethiopian court system. Knowing this, I have been forced to realize that there are a myriad of things that could go wrong. We could be among the thirty percent of parents adopting from Ethiopia who are given multiple court dates. Such thoughts are not comforting.

May God help us to be more aware of the sufferings of these two boys than that of our own. Christ’s example teaches us that adoption has never been easy. May we come to grips with the reality that whatever we have to endure for these two boys can never be compared to the suffering they have felt of being left fatherless. If this is what causes pain and turmoil in our lives so be it. But, may it not be just because we are not getting our way. Or because God is not doing what we think He should do.

I ask you to pray that we would remember that this particular adoption should not cause us to grieve the Spirit of adoption that indwells us. We must remember that we were orphans who deserve nothing but God’s judgment. By grace, we received adoption in Christ. By grace, we will receive this adoption as well.

grandpa full of surprises

2009-02-28T00:32:00.001-05:00

I wonder if these two will ever remember being allowed to braid grandpa's hair. A winning combination - a 4 yr old who can braid and a grandpa with long enough hair and enough patience to let her do it. Add a 5 yr old about to get his fingers nipped off and you wonder what might happen next...

2009-02-28T00:27:00.001-05:00

It was so much fun to take local transportation with Mimi, when she gets her drivers licence here it is sure to be equally as exciting!

Samoa is in SE Asia! I found it.

2009-02-28T00:16:00.001-05:00

A federal indictment accusing a Wellsville agency and its workers of tricking parents in Samoa into giving up their children marked a rare prosecution in the international adoption industry.

But the use of deception, coercion or kidnapping in foreign countries to place children with American families is far from unusual, according to advocates with watchdog groups who say the Focus on Children case bolsters their calls for reform.

"There's no real consequences now," David Smolin, a law professor in Alabama and the parent of internationally adopted children, said of agencies and adoption facilitators accused of wrongdoing.

To stem abuses, Smolin and others are pushing for national adoption laws to replace a patchwork of state laws; limiting the amount of money involved in the adoption of foreign children to prevent human trafficking; and making U.S. agencies responsible for the actions of their overseas contractors. They also want more prosecutions and harsher punishment for offenders.

Kimberly Kennedy, a board member of Parents for Ethical Adoption Reform (PEAR), is urging U.S. District Judge David Sam to impose significant sentences when defendants in the FOC case are sentenced this month. Under plea deals, the U.S. Attorney's Office is recommending probation.

first fruits

2009-02-27T23:56:00.001-05:00

These are the first banana muffins ever by an Ethiopian nanny. i was so proud of her i took a picture. She makes everything look so nice!

2009-01-22T23:27:00.002-05:00

praying for my good friend whose child is in CHEO... hospitalized before his 2nd birthday.

So many times in life we are left asking WHY...I do not have these answers. But I know someone who does.

boring blog=exciting life

2009-01-22T23:18:00.002-05:00

Ah don't i wish that was the truth. Yes there is lots going on and computer time is more limited than i like it to be. I am strangely disconnected from my bloggy friends. What is going on with everyone?

I have a friend in the adoption process. Time frames and mediocre service are getting me down about that (on their behalf). Others are thru the process but still shaking their heads in disbelief. Is this really how it was supposed to happen? I am supposed to wait months, and years, and then just be amazingly "grateful" that a child came my way? Well we are glad (and lucky and blessed for sure) to have the kids that we do.

But these kids, like any others, offer their fair share of challenges. Right now I am hoping to meet someone who has raised an adopted child from ETH. Thru the teenage years I mean, not the ones who are still toddling around the house, charming everyone in sight. There is no joy in muddville tonite.

Actually there is one joy, Teya Joy. Still at a tender age of 4, she was a delight to watch on the sliding hill. Putting the other friends on her toboggan, giving them a big push then running down the side path to help them carry it back up again. There are other joyful stories as well, one for each child I suppose. Even the one who called on me just now, mommy I am throwing up...

And the ones who looked at the picture of themselves in the foster home where they were not smiling - one said, it is because I was sad mommy, I missed you. The other described fear and wanting to come home. Well I am glad you are home now son. Very very glad.

entertaining and true

2009-01-08T12:25:00.002-05:00

The Mom Song from Northland Video on Vimeo.

As mentioned on an earlier post I was able to see this song performed by the author, Anita Renfroe which was truly funny enough to pee one's pants... this version is good too, and makes me think I should just have it playing in the background all day long. Would save all the repetition don't you think?

prayer for missing Canadian

2009-01-07T12:52:00.000-05:00

Wed Jan 7, 3:54 PM

OTTAWA (AFP) - Canada has not received a ransom demand for two Canadian diplomats missing in Niger since mid-December, and continues to probe their mysterious disappearance, Foreign Minister Lawrence Cannon said Wednesday.

"We're very much concerned about it," Cannon said of the December 14 disappearance of the UN envoy to Niger Robert Fowler and his assistant Louis Guay.

The men, along with their driver, who also is missing, were returning from a visit the previous day to a gold mine operated by Canadian company Semafo, west of Niamey. A Tuareg rebel group initially said it had kidnapped the men, before retracting the claim the same day.

"We haven't had any ransom demands," Cannon said.

The men's car was discovered beside a road in an apparently trouble-free area close to the Niger capital Niamey. The vehicle's engine was running, its turn signals flashing, and its doors were wide open. Three mobile phones, a camera and a jacket were found inside.

Ottawa's top diplomat said Canadian officials are "on the ground" working with local officials to try to solve the mystery and find missing men.

"We'll be looking at every option, and we'll be looking at every hypothesis that's being put forward," he said.

Cannon said he also has spoken twice to UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon about the case.

welcome the new year

2009-01-04T23:32:00.004-05:00

hey gang what's up for 2009. Just checking out the evening news. A 25 yr old woman set fire to an Ottawa hotel on New Yrs day. Ruined a hockey tournament for 5 Jr teams. Wars are getting worse. Not off to a great start on the global front.

Here at home things fare alot better than the average. We are healthy and very excited about the start of the school year, now less than 9 hrs away. But who is counting. And who has been counting for the past week or so...

A special day here at home as well. Our Mimi is having her birthday tomorrow. Maybe she would not want to say how old she is... does she even read this blog? She looks great I can say that... And there will be a photo or two if I can find one.

Thanks for hanging in there, the blogger in me is coming off vacation and back to the ranks.

Happy new year all.

despite a myriad of jokes and teasing, what you see here is two family friends. hmmm

Ahhh, finally found a photo to add for the bday celebration. I am having some camera/tech troubles but I wanted to find something to bring to life the fun time we are having with this girl. We did have a happy birthday and wonderful Genna celebration. And these photos make me think it is time to travel to Addis again. Anyone care to join me?

admitted to hospital

2008-12-23T21:31:00.002-05:00

That's right we have a first hand view of what children experience while in hospital over the holidays. And may i say we feel very fortunate and very blessed.

Haragwan has gone thru another surgery to try to repair her damaged eardrum. She has lived with this condition since she was a very little girl (who knows how little) and does not see it as a huge problem. The thought of surgery also does not scare her. Thus, we anticipated this little jaunt more like an adventure, or even a holiday.

We were not disappointed. All is well, the doctors were wonderful and she is recovering nicely. There is a tv in the room and snacks in the fridge. What more does she need? And after one day, we pack up the whole thing and go home. The ideal way to arrive (and leave) the children's hospital: not sick. More postings later about the kids who are here, suffering, trusting they will be allowed OUT for Christmas day. We sure hope and pray that happens for them too.

where does the time go AKA shocked by age

2008-12-15T21:10:00.003-05:00

Such a pleasure today to have a few Christmas cards rolling in. I must admit I do like keeping in touch and appreciate those friends who make an effort. We have so many lovely friends. One of them lives in NB but when we lived out there, she lived out here. and so on. Life is like that. But may I say to the daughter, Elizabeth, your photo is beautiful and i have no idea how you turned into an adult since the last time I saw you. If I remember correctly we were debating between daycare and babysitters and whether to try french immersion. I believe it was Riverside school that won the day. For a person that had no children you were such a welcome bit of entertainment. The perfect little bunny. Aren't you glad I do not know much about your teenage years, you will live in my memory as the school kid who created fully colored pictures, background and all.

Thus, I am shocked by age. Not yours, but mine. Merry Christmas to your parents, grandma, and Doug. xo

Another message from the east, but this girl moved west. Nannan has no idea how often I have been thinking of her (as my writing and calling have dwindled quite badly) but what a great photo of your little girl and grandparents in front of Niagara falls!! aren't you the tourists. We are honoured to have the Chinese ornaments (I hope that is what they are, they went right onto the tree) and the explanations to go along with it.

I would like to post your photo too, but do not know how to operate our scanner. Sure hope we can see each other in the new year.

(and if you send me that photo via email I will include it with this post. thx)

adoption world

2008-12-11T09:37:00.003-05:00

Well this must be my world because it is getting alot of my focus these days. It has been TWO years... today... since we first heard the names Tesfahun and Tewabech. Oh it feels like yesterday. And the love was exciting at first but now it is rich, and daily, and feels permanent. Even while fielding the ever present comments like when eating chicken off the bone: this is goat. Like Lopiso house. Or, lay down with me mommy. I miss my Afwica mommy. They are kids with a past. Lovely, lovely kids. Beautiful bright eyes, wide smile, big hands, dark face. Just like their parents.

News on the adoption front, great friends with great news. Allison got visa papers and is leaving for ETH, ASAP. WOW. PTL. LOL. and in other news, fellow adopter finds herself pregnant. Let me just say Sandi that you have adopted twins, quite successfully, what if you get that ultrasound and there is two more???!! aaack.

Another friend is watchfully waiting over her twins (also about 12 mos) as one of them displaying signs of CP. She asked me, what is God trying to tell me, as my child struggles in the children's hospital. Well, I have never had a sick baby OR a child in hospital. Can anybody offer some advice/ support. I am worried for this single mom of 3 kids.

pictured above: 3 girls playing together will soon be FOUR!! hoooray...

quote for thought

2008-12-02T23:44:00.001-05:00

"What we find consistently is that the white families cannot raise a black child as if it was its own birth child. They have to make changes in their lives. In other words, love is not enough."

thanks for this article. I am thinking about it.

foolish thoughts

2008-11-29T21:06:00.002-05:00

Grieving and struggling along with fellow adopters today, one family in Kenya. Dear friends, why did you ever go there? The love in your heart is being rewarded with torment and confusion. At this time we can only trust that God has the bigger plan. We do not get it. Their son is not with them -yet. So comes to mind two songs that have taught me that our path does not always look 'straight' in the eyes of others, or ourselves. Trust the one who is writing the story.

Do you know these songs? Micheal Card:
Seems I’ve imagined Him all of my lifeAs the wisest of all of mankindBut if God’s Holy wisdom is foolish to menHe must have seemed out of His mind
For even His family said He was madAnd the priests said a demon’s to blameBut God in the form of this angry young manCould not have seemed perfectly sane
ChorusWhen we in our foolishness thought we were wiseHe played the fool and He opened our eyesWhen we in our weakness believed we were strongHe became helpless to show we were wrong

And so we follow God’s own foolFor only the foolish can tell-Believe the unbelievableAnd come be a fool as well
So come lose your life for a carpenter’s sonFor a madman who died for a dreamAnd you’ll have the faith His first followers hadAnd you’ll feel the weight of the beamSo surrender the hunger to say you must knowHave the courage to say I believeFor the power of paradox opens your eyesAnd blinds those who say they can see

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvejyvnEidY (you can hear it and see that lovely bald guy whose music we grew up on)

second choice, Dallas Holm, equally as familiar and gifted.

I'll be a fool for You, Jesus, that's just what I'll be.People tell me that I'm a fool for giving my life away,But I've learned not to think too highly of what the people say.'Cause you have given more to me than I ever gave to you,So if it's all the same to them I think I'll be a fool.I'll be a fool for You, Jesus, that's just what I'll be.Crazy in love with God above, that's all right with me.I'll be a fool for You, Jesus, that's just what I'll do I guess I just don't know no better than to be in love with You.When I gave my life to You, my friends they were hard to find,They seemed to all kinda stay away; They thought I'd lost my mind.How could you give your life away like some kind of crazy fool?They would ask and I would say: Here's what I'm gonna do.I'll be a fool for You, Jesus, that's just what I'll be.Crazy in love with God above, that's all right with me.I'll be a fool for You, Jesus, that's just what I'll doI guess I just don't know no better than to be in love with You.

is this cute?

2008-11-29T00:54:00.001-05:00

My SIL (sister in law but also stands for silly) is the fun factor in the family. She had this brainy idea of a group shot of all our kids. I could not imagine how it would turn out and even tho it was several months ago I am seeing it today for the first time. Yes it was hard to get a good shot and we even had to do retakes a few months later... but you were right, it is cute. great idea sis.

today's news

2008-11-21T09:09:00.002-05:00

some of my great posts come directly from other people's minds... (mine is so often empty) and here is something that our family has experienced first, second and third hand. What do you think?

OTTAWA (Reuters) - Obese people have the right to two seats for the price of one on flights within Canada, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled on Thursday.
The high court declined to hear an appeal by Canadian airlines of a decision by the Canadian Transportation Agency that people who are "functionally disabled by obesity" deserve to have two seats for one fare.
The airlines had lost an appeal at the Federal Court of Appeal in May and had sought to launch a fresh appeal at the Supreme Court. The court's decision not to hear a new appeal means the one-person-one-fare policy stands.
The appeal had been launched by Air Canada, Air Canada Jazz and WestJet.
(Reporting by Randall Palmer)

and one person's not so subtle opinion...

over six feet tall gets a second seat for free for space, and everyone under 5 feet gets a booster seat, and everyone under 100lbs gets to pay 50% less than average sized people, and alcoholics get free drinks, diabetics get sugar-free meals, smokers get their own alarm-free bathroom... I'm sure claustrophobics would love a free seat too! Or how about any person that has a small child or is pregnant? Are you paranoid? No problem, you get a personalized parachute!

words about family

2008-11-18T08:36:00.000-05:00

all in the family
by ellen stevens
The other day, as I was perusing the myriad of blogs I read, I came across a post by a woman saddened by the annual invitation to the family Thanksgiving dinner. According to this woman, for several years she has longed to see her extended family, and would love to introduce her 3 year old to his aunts and uncles, grandparents, and cousins. However, she cannot go.
The reason? Four years before, on the night before her father’s funeral, she and her sister had a misunderstanding; they haven’t talked since.
As I read her story, my heart broke for her. I know that family can be a bear sometimes (yes, I know you read this). Everyone has moments when family seems like a dreaded hassle more than a joy. Perhaps you don’t quite fit in ideologically, politically, or theologically. Maybe they won’t allow you to grow or move forward from past events or characteristics. Sometimes they get offended or defensive over the smallest details. Often it is simply actual mileage that allows our hearts to grow apart. And then there are those who never seem to pick up on hints about when to come, or how long to stay.
In our world, it has become the norm to be guarded, defensive, and cautious. Holding in one’s feelings, hiding hurts, and feigning strength are commonplace. Sometimes viewed as pride, self-reliance, or independence, usually the source is truly fear of being hurt, alone, vulnerable, and unliked.
One of the key places we should be safe from that fear is family. Yet, often it is the people who we crave acceptance from the most, who can break our heart the deepest. Like a pendulum, if we do not care how people feel about us, they cannot hurt us. But, those who we love the most, can wound us to our core. The betrayal felt becomes a huge reason to turn them off, deny them our love, and walk away.
But you only have one set of family. True, you can’t choose them. But they are still family. Right or wrong. Good or bad. Love or pain. Kindred spirits or really odd. They are part of us.
Her post made me want to purpose to always maintain the door open for my family, to always welcome them into my heart and home. Just as long as they know they can’t stay forever…

chicken little

2008-11-16T16:23:00.001-05:00

Well I am finally getting some commentary on my blog. You all know how we LOVE the comments. except for the anonymous ones, my personal pet peeve. (don't all do this now just to drive me nuts). But i did write a little comment in return and will share it here as well in case you never come back to the comments section...

Hey all you anonymous (oops, typed anonymouse! by mistake) posters out there... i must do a post on this sometime but if you have something to say, DO sign your name. Stand behind your opinions, IMHO. As for my own board, as stated prev I do not have the talent for that! or the number of followers. I fear nobody would join!!!

generations of love

2008-11-14T22:23:00.000-05:00

The youngest and the oldest darlings in my life. One who tucked me in when I was three, the other a three year old who is tucked in by me. Seeing either one of these faces just fills my heart with past memories and future hope. There is something about knowing and being known...

eternal bamnation

2008-11-13T15:24:00.002-05:00

That last post really gave me a kick. Literally laughing out loud. (LLol) lmao. Thus, another post for today. I do not want to be banned from my favorite group eternally. So, here I sit as the quinessential rule breaker (what does that mean i don't know but it sounds better than sleezy slimy rule breaker) just hoping for another chance to make it right. I did not post anything controversial, although I am well versed in my many opinions. No, we do not all have to have the same opinion on everything... But there are other rules besides "posting". I gave out my "password" - something I have occasionally done with my bank card, house security code and bicycle lock. In all cases, I thought it was mine to share. This time however it was a mistake. The board does not belong to me and my password cannot be shared. I should not have done this. It may be another example of something I do not agree with, but that is not the point here. The point is, girls, stick to the rules!!!

And if somebody breaks the rules but they promise never to do it again, and they never meant to pose a threat to anybody... please give them another chance!!!!

As an aside, if you watched CSI last night there was this internet club called secretU or some such thing, where you could send in a post card with your confession of some well hidden deed or misconduct. It comes to mind now that I have exposed myself on national blogdom... so if you want to make a comment make sure you have confessed that you too have fallen short - like my friend Joan and her run in with the local authorities on the 401 last weekend. I really appreciated what she said after getting a "warning" instead of a ticket. "It taught me alot about grace. I could not believe, as I was driving away, that I escaped the hefty price. Last summer some retired cop got a traffic warning and I remember thinking "that is so unfair, we would NEVER get away with that". And then I did. I will now consciously tell myself to extend grace."

good word. thanks.

PAIN IN THE HEAD

2008-11-13T09:33:00.002-05:00

Pain is the theme for today. How would you feel if you arrived in a strange country feeling perfectly fine and within weeks you were knocked down by nerve wracking pain? The wisdom tooth saga that our nanny is experiencing is truly a story for another day. The ending of the story, which hopefully starts today, is that the tooth has been removed and she is on antibiotics, pain killers...

Pain for my cousin as well, who apparently had a tumor in her brain. These things start to get a little close to home when I just lost a friend (43) to a brain aneurysm last month. The great news is that my cousin, about the same age, came through quite well. And the other great news is that since we live 1000 miles from home I cannot go and disturb them by visiting with my 4 kids. I guess today's lesson is that surgery removes the pain.

What about my pain? I am finding it such a pain that I cannot connect with my online peeps, yes I am using that internet lingo, as I continue to be banned from my favorite daily activity.Now this should not stop a creative girl such as myself to fill the day with all sorts of other activities. I spent time with two dear friends yesterday, one right here and local and the other my auntie via a long distance call. So you see it does not take the internet to keep these important relationships alive. But a shout out to my pals behind the glass wall, thx for those who have emailed/andor/ missed me. Keep those cards and letters coming!!

inspiring people

2008-11-07T00:51:00.004-05:00

I made a new friend today, someone who adopted two kids more than 12 years ago. Kids offer us all kinds of challenges and opportunities- to increase our faith, patience, creativity, etc. It was nice to share some of those common experiences and encourage each other. Yes we will get through this!

Also it is inspiring to meet someone else in our town who has expanded their own lives and the lives of two children (or more) notwithstanding the personal sacrifice. I have met so many more inspiring people than this, in my adoption circles (the main one I am missing like crazy as I am banned again...) But I do appreciate many of the blog chats and so I leave you with this quote, from Bill Gates and so applicable to all of us:

Is the rich world aware of how 4 billion of the 6 billion live? If we were aware, we would want to help out, we'd want to get involved...

group shot

2008-11-05T00:01:00.000-05:00

What does it take to get a good photo? All the other ones turned out blurry but the time that Melese was holding the camera, it seems great. So now we have to figure a way to get him into it, technology can do that. (any offers?). Funny/ironic, since he did not really want to pose anyway. I am just glad he got this one since the whole family of 14 is not together in one room (or on one couch) very often. This occasion is the grand 45th anniversary of mom and dad K. It is a great shot but not that much better than the one from last summer, which the photo doctor doctored for me, making me look just a little better, heh heh heh. The weather did not permit any outside photos on that (thanksgiving) weekend but we sure had fun indoors!

The ordeal of getting all 12 of us to the house before church in time for a surprise, well that is enough to make anybody's day. Can you imagine a small town version of guess who's coming to dinner!! Hard to believe we pulled off such a grand surprise. That is about all we can manage for "fun factor" (fly across the country without telling anyone), the rest is in the capable hands of C and M knight, the fun just never stops when they are around.

Thanks for a great weekend everyone.

fall time

2008-11-04T00:42:00.002-05:00

I love this shot which lives only a limited view of HOW MUCH work this yard can be, esp at certain times of the year. All of the kids have helped with the raking a time or 2, last week we had snow and now we are back at it. Our city banned plastic bags so we were using paper bags to collect these leaves. One day I saw them at the store and bought about 50 of them, when Scott returned he wondered if I was saving up for the second coming or something...how many bags do we need? I have no idea but I heard that several stores were out of stock so it seemed like a good idea. Anyway as we are nearing the END of our stock it was , in retrospect, a great idea. Of course, a few days ago the city rescinded (is this a word) the ban and plastic would have been fine after all, apparently there is just not enough paper in the world... so I predicted... but we have been forwarned for next yr. The land fills are filling up people!! Is that not why they are called land fills? I digress. Our city council is busy talking about this and who knows what other things but I do not care, I love this city and it has the most amenities of any place we have ever lived, and that is saying alot. I appreciate the fact that my leaves will be picked up (along with bins of recycle and tons of garbage) in the next 12 hrs or so...

News travels

2008-11-03T02:36:00.002-05:00

This couple made big news when the got married near here and then flew the same day to Winnipeg where they got married again. A dear old college friend of mine, I had no idea he was on his second marriage, heh heh heh. They looked pretty happy considering the entourage of family and wedding party travelling with them. And then there was that little thing about meeting someone you have not seen in maybe 16 yrs standing in the airport beside you! Both handled it so well, you must be people persons.

Congrats and I hope everything arrived on time for the second wedding (I noticed the dress was actually in your hand so it should be OK!) and I hope the marriage can live up to the expectations of TWO weddings. Happy couple will reside in MB from what I am told. Small world, news travels fast.

natural entertainer

2008-11-02T03:03:00.000-05:00

cannot wait to see this girl babysit!!!

hairiffic

2008-10-29T02:07:00.003-04:00

How does one limited skills mom deal with two fussy haired girls? reinforcements, that's how. I think the girls are lucky that the hair is not a "daily" routine, and that the faces are always perfect no matter what the hair is doing. I am glad I do not have to face the sitting, pulling, twisting but on the other hand I have never looked as good as this:

better than it was

2008-10-28T23:48:00.003-04:00

I love all those blogs where the moms with the van load of kids or the couple of infants can manage to tell us about her day, describe the lovely antics and even include the description of her husband's comings and goings. I hope you can use those to write a book one day, that is what I would like to do. But glancing back over this blog it is not very hopeful. I can manage a brief description of the odd highlight.

Ahhh soon all that is going to change. The children can no longer overwhelm me with the 4:1 ratio, and I have somebody to watch the original episodes of Friends with... I have recommended the Live In Caregiver program to so many people, I hope you will look into this and save your own sanity!

world crashing down

2008-10-28T23:24:00.004-04:00

A few weeks ago there was a wind storm which gave quite a little bang... now I see the snow is covering the ground. Winter has started and this changes the pace around here. Since it is Tesfahun in the photo I may also mention that he refused his immunization needles despite my efforts to contain his 50 lb frame and muffle the screams of blue murder that were heard all over town...

The worst news of all just hit home. The province that I live in has now officially banned cell phone use while driving. Oh I know there is that vocal minority who will applaud this move. I saw you on the news, old people and insurance adjusters... But this new disconnection is devastating to me. I love to use my cell phone. and drive. and no i have not had a traffic accident. Please tell me i can still have the phone with me and i will send the family inside to get groceries while I talk on the phone.

Virgin mobile (yes they try to be cool) gives us this buddy plan where I can call quite a distance with no long distance. Let us not give this up, people!!!

By the way the immunizations got done today. What a trooper (they both are!!!)

Any women of faith?

2008-10-27T23:39:00.002-04:00

http://good-times.webshots.com/slideshow/568172504vTGIJw

Wow it is amazing how fun times can just sneak up on you, unawares. I was the beneficiary of the unused ticket which turned out to be an inclusive trip to Minneapolis, home of the Mall of America!! (had to throw that in there, for you shoppers in the crowd)

Even tho i previously had no desire to visit Minneapolis/St Paul, or the women of faith conference, or the M of America, it turned out to be the best weekend ever! Perhaps it was the lovely company of my mother and sister.

It also got more interesting as I renamed the city "mini Addis", I am told there are 30 000 ETH there and i think we met half of them!

Did you ever hear the story of Mandisa? I have not, as i do not frequent the American Idol channel. But she was an amazing performer, with a great story. google it. The other highlight for me was the live version of a you tube clip that i saw sometime last year. it was about" I' m the MOM. " The mastermind behind that song and several other equally as hysterical watch me pee my pants renditions, is Anita Renfroe. I hope i can figure out how to connect you with that one. We can relate all right.

that being said, i have not even mentioned the best presentations... or the fab hotel. Lots to tell. more later

low tech/no tech now hooked

2008-10-21T00:28:00.002-04:00

Cyber friends... did i ever think this would be me? By all means, NO. The last few posts have let me know that there is a whole world of caring people out there, reading my blog, becoming my new social circle. Sounds kind of sad and pathetic at first glance, but get this: the adoption friends that I have made have hosted me on visits from New Brunswick to Montreal to the mid west. The local friends within a decent drive have made the "real thing" seem just as nice as their many posts. And then there is... the message boards!!

I had no idea I was as hooked as I am. But the inability to connect with my "PEEPS" was quite a struggle this month. albeit, nothing happens quickly in this world of hurry up and wait. And the closest friend that I have who is adopting is not even on any boards (trying to spare from the harsh realities...) None the less I like all you cyber space friends. I was distraught about being banned from my favorite board. I hate to miss a good time.

I wish I had the brain power to start a board of my own, like i said i am low tech or no tech. but i am hooked.

cyb er friends

2008-10-13T23:57:00.001-04:00

This is quite a warm, tho somewhat digital community. thanks for the support during the shocking experience of last month . time to get back to the blog. what shall we talk about?

funeral ahead

2008-09-24T08:31:00.001-04:00

Grief envelopes me. I lost a friend, age 43. There are no words. Go with God.

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and the sky come to mingle with each other.
Then someone at my side says, “There, she is gone.”
“Gone where?”
Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear the load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me, not her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says, “There, she is gone.” There are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, “Here she comes!”

2008-09-23T23:24:00.000-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgICMAYBOpo

where in the world is tesfahun

2008-09-23T08:52:00.000-04:00

neighborly people

2008-09-22T23:07:00.004-04:00

For lack of any of my own photos...

I mean where does a person get such great quality photos. Mine seem to have a telephone pole coming out of every blurry head-so I am happy to steal them from my friend.

And for lack of my own material I will steal her blog post as well... recapping the day spent with Mei Le and Teya...

At the end of the day, Mei Le announced that she wanted little braids like Teya & Haragwan, so while they watched Cinderella, I called on my teenage horse-braiding muscle memory, and had a go of it (see below). She loved them so much she had to sleep in them, and to wear them to school the next day. Plus, last night I had to put them back in for school today! I sense a trend, and have bought a bunch of SMALL elastics and ordered some hair snaps etc to streamline the process.
I would like to start practicing cornrows, etc, in prep for Ebba's arrival home, but am having a hard time re-training many years of braiding to the "upside-down" method required for neat hair braids. At least (sadly) I will have a few months yet to practice before Ebba comes home

And just a reminder to you and all other dear friends, the braiding that goes on in this house is (almost) NEVER done by me... do not pressure yourselves too much! But I sure admire your cooking/hairstyling/Amharic speaking motivations! We will all be so delighted to see your arrival from ETH with a big celebration. Praying for a quick process now.